December 6^th marks the date of one of the largest mass-shootings in Canadian history. A man “fighting feminism” killed 14 women, and injured 14 others at l’École Polytechnique de Montreal on that day in 1989. Most of the women killed were students, one was an instructor. Most of the people injured were women.

Bullets hit the bodies of women, although he said his target was feminism.

National Day for Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women

Two years after what has been called the Montreal Massacre, the members of the House of Commons passed a bill to establish December 6^th as the National Day for Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.

 It passed unanimously.

Remembrance

We know that remembrance is happening. All over the country people gather on Dec 6^th for vigils and ceremonies. They recall the names of the women killed in 1989. They reflect on the other women killed by men’s violence. They share a moment of grief, sometimes anger, often determination (to make change). They lay roses in commemoration of those who have been killed.  In some places these ceremonies have happened each and every year of the past 35 years. Some in exactly the same location as the first one happened.

(These are outdoor ceremonies, so physical distancing was possible and safe during the pandemic.)

There can be comfort in shared grief, in sharing with the people standing near you and those further away in other towns and cities. Vigils on December 6^th are also opportunities to share grief with the many people who have attended such ceremonies over the years. There is a power in that sharing. That power can be used to take action.

Action

Substantial actions on violence against women have occurred in Canada since the Montreal Massacre.

This list doesn’t tell the whole story. People have taken action at their local levels. For instance, people have changed how they treat one another in their birding club or church choir. They have made change in policies where there are policies, and in attitudes and group values.

To achieve gender equality, a lot of changes both big and small will need to take place.

What achieving greater gender equality does

Achieving greater equality among the genders means that women and girls can be more independent. That independence means that they don’t have to stick around when someone starts treating them badly. This is not something that our grandmothers could do. Well, they could, but there was legislation and policy and cultural beliefs that made it a whole lot harder.

It’s still not something that all women and girls can do even now.

What achieving greater equality will require of society

Achieving greater equality among the genders will require shifts in cultural beliefs and societal values. It will require change in our ideologies. It will require change in our institutions. It will require change in our shared understanding of what we want our society to be. It will require change in what we can imagine our society could be.

Because gender inequality is woven into everything, a whole lot needs to change. Some of those changes have already been made. In our grandmother’s time it would have been hard to imagine so many women in the workforce and so many places to turn to for help if things go bad. We can work together to keep making changes.

What achieving greater equality will require of you

Self reflection.

Ongoing self-education.

What can you think of that would help make change?

Change needs to happen

Gender-based violence is still alive and well. Murder statistics show that women are 80% more likely to be killed than men are, within the context of intimate relationships. This is not to mention that, within that context women are about 90% more likely to be the one being abused, rather than the perpetrator. We know that every 6 days in Canada a woman is killed by her intimate partner (or former intimate partner). Finally, we know that that number has not changed over the last decade.

Furthermore, we know that most women, girls and other people from marginalized genders feel fear (or at least a little nervousness) when walking alone at night. They will

All of this is because most women, girls, and people from other marginalized genders, have been harassed on the street before. Many have been threatened. Others have experienced violence. They all have heard stories from close friends about negative experiences they have had. They all have their own stories.

Join us December 6^th

If you have your own story or are feeling grief (or anger, or both) about someone else’s story, please join us on December 6^th. Find a vigil or memorial near where you live. We are gathering in Benson Park in Picton. We will remember. We will share mourning. We will lay roses.

You don’t have to be there in person to share. You can take a moment to learn more about the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women. You can take a moment to reflect on how violence against women has affected you and those that you know and love.

You can know that there are others across our country doing the same thing on that day.

If you want, lean into that for comfort and strength.